Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
