he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
