i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
