hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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