operation harelip BJ is a go
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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