So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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