that's an acceptable place to lick
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
