I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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