she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize