i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
