we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
