CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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