Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
