theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
