i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
