Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Randomize
