we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
