I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
