Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
