I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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