Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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