Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
