so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
