i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I think I died a long time ago.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
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