Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
