i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
