my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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