The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
