There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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