he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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