i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
