Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize