His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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