Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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