Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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