woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
