Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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