Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
