Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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