fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
