I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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