found the other keg... it's in the tree
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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