In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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