So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
