Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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