based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
