Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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