The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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