Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
