She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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