I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
