he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I am spending my child support on dildos
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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