that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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