He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
