Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize