Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
