pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
