The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
