i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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