We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
