Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
