I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
