My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
