I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
