She is in my trunk
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
